


I Think We're Alone Now

by SusieBeeca



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Body Image, Conjoined Twins, F/F, Fantasizing, Illustrations, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Masturbation, Orgasm Denial, Secret Twin Language, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Fantasy, Twincest, illustrated fanfic, phantom limb syndrome, smutile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 22:26:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14724744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SusieBeeca/pseuds/SusieBeeca
Summary: 99% of gems admit to masturbating, and 1% lie. It's nothing to be embarrassed about... unless you share half your body with your twin sister.





	I Think We're Alone Now

 

 

“So, um…”

I don’t know why she even bothered to hesitate. We’d done this enough times to have each step after agonizing step laid out by memory, and yet… I closed my eyes and nodded for her to continue.

“…How would you like to go about… doing… this?” she ended, her words soft and faltering.

I sighed, opening my eyes, and stared around at our makeshift boudoir. It felt so strange to do this here instead of in the dead Kindergarten, where we could walk far enough away from everyone else to protect our modesty. I was used to the relative solitude of those crumbling rocks. The Sun Incinerator’s bay was close and fusty (she’d tried to describe it as “cozy”) but at least it was separated from the main floor by two sets of doors. As an extra safety measure, we’d lied to the others and told them we needed to “clean the cargo hatch” and that they needn’t bother us.

I’m still trying to pretend I didn’t see Fluorite wink at me.

I pushed my knee against hers. “The same way we always do it.”

“Are you sure?” she needled as she let her toes curl over mine. “I-I mean… It doesn’t seem fair.” She cleared her throat, still not meeting my eye. “To you.”

By now this back-and-forth, such as it was, felt like a script. I knew what she was expecting me to say next: “It’s fine, really. You’re better at it than I am.”

Without looking, I knew she was biting at her lower lip. “If you say so…”

“I do.” Since my phantom arm didn’t seem to be present, I bent towards her and gently bumped my empty shoulder against hers. It was enough to ease her jitters,  
somewhat. “Now, sister, on the count of three…”

Silently, we both drew breaths.

“One,” she whispered.

“Two,” I said, more stridently than I’d intended.

In unison, we said “Three” and, with a chagrined little twinkle, our outfit faded away.

For a few speechless moments we stayed like that, my back against the exhaust pipe, hers against the slightly-more comfortable inner hull; then, finally, she put her palm against her belly, right above our junction. “S-…” It came out startled and indistinct, but I already knew what she was going to vocalize: “Sister…”

“Yes?”

“Are you ready?”

“Of course.”

And her hand wandered down. The little hairs on the back of my neck started to prickle to attention when, inch by inch, I began to feel her caress. When her hand was on her own body, she was in control, and I felt nothing---but when she breached that blurry frontier between us, I started to pick up on the sensations. It was still so jarring to feel her fingertips on my skin, mapping out where she ended and I began.

“Mm… feels nice,” I mumbled, and, like a little ripple, she agreed. I wished she would go a bit faster, but there was no way I would rush her; I could tell she was already flustered. Heat was difficult for most gems, and I couldn’t help but wonder if ours hit harder than most. Our shared gem was more deformed and bifurcated than anyone else’s, so I suppose it stood to reason we’d get a double-whammy… so to speak.

The heel of her palm was resting on that odd divot where our bodies met, her fingers curled up and hesitating. “Are you ready?” she asked again.  
I nodded. She wasn’t looking, but didn’t need to see.

It was odd---no matter how many times we did this, no matter how many times I felt the tiny tip-tap of her fingers edging into our soft nest of pubic hair, we still both gasped unevenly. She toyed her way downwards with trepidation, and, just as always, before she dug into the cleft, I heard her halting voice come brushing up by my shoulder:

“You want it like this?”

I wanted to reply---I _ached_ to do it---but I knew to wait.

She dropped her words to a whisper. “Do you want me to start, sister?”

And there it was---the signal she’d never begin without. I nodded again, and she slipped her first two fingers deeper, just far enough to broach that wetness.

Oh _stars_.

My chest heaved, and I heard her whuff, too; I didn’t think I could be surprised by this sort of thing anymore, but despite her forced, step-by-step formality, this time when she went between our thighs it felt just… a little different.

Sometimes it felt like rubbing a cramped muscle. Sometimes it burned. But now it almost felt like a crackle of energy. I whimpered as a shiver went up my spine, and for once, I realized it was something we hadn’t shared.

My half of our pelvis pumped up, which seemed to startle her. _“Oh, sister…”_

“Did I hurt you?”

“N-nooo…” The electric feeling was still jolting into me, bit by bit, and my speech came out like a moan. I felt her tense up beside me, but I hadn’t frightened her enough to break from the pattern. “Go ahead.”

She did her usual: first a few quick pats on the surface, up and down, then she used two fingers to part our lips, inviting a cool rush of air to kiss along the wet flesh, before moving upwards to carefully press the pad of her thumb on our clit. That sharp sizzle came back, sparking with a single burst that shot up to my belly… and then she moved away, leaving our clit a hot, aching point of flesh.

Such a tease.

I stared down at my arm, she at hers, before she started the quick, nervous circling, and I sighed. This tender contact was always a relief for the heat, but… over the years, it had become a kind of clenched, weary relief. It was always the same; she seemed to need to stick to her rituals to stay calm when we were doing this most shameful thing--- _off-colours TOUCHING themselves, what would they think on the surface?_ \---but after aeons of repetition, I was starting to become tired of having this be simply something we had to get over with before moving on. Stars, she even moved in clockwise circles every single time! What would be wrong with switching things up a bit?

I looked up at the ceiling, and a startled gasp of surprise left my throat. She murmured, obviously thinking it had been a sound of pleasure, but I’d been reacting to the graffiti I saw scrawled just behind the hatch.

I wasn’t sure what a ‘hose hog’ was, but now I knew Emerald was one!

I had to bite my lip to hold in my laughter, and then I broke the first rule we’d laid down when we started doing this: no looking at each other when there’s a hand in the goodie bag. I could feel some deep emotion pinch inside my chest when I saw her downcast face; she just looked so heartsick, so chagrined. The very first time I’d seen that look in her eyes had been when the rest of our Kindergarten sisters were fleeing from us, screaming.

I could feel my mouth twisting out of its half-smile. For anyone, even ourselves, to want to touch a body like this just seemed abhorrent; on top of that, it had always felt mortifying for us to have to do it _together_. That’s why we always stared resolutely in opposite directions---it was the one bit of privacy we had left.  
I looked up at the graffiti again. We’d always hid our taboos in shadows, but so much was changing now, wasn’t it? I let my gaze wander back over her form and tried to swallow away the nervousness. It was hard to think coherently through the heat, and her steady-but-impatient fingers working at our fissure didn’t help my concentration---but I squeezed my hand into a fist and tried to push my thoughts into words as my fingernails bit at my palm.

“Wait a minute.”

To my surprise, she did. A thin strand of slick was clinging to her fingertips as she turned to me, and for the first time in millennia, our eyes met mid-stroke. She let out a tiny hiccup of surprise, but I willed myself still.

“Wha-what is i-it?” she stammered, her cheeks flushing.

“It’s, um, nothing serious,” I began carefully as I took my weight off my palm. I desperately wanted to look away from her piercing gaze, maybe glance down to my dry, useless hand, but I just couldn’t break eye contact now that I was ready to chip at the last barrier between us. “I was just wondering…”

Her throat constricted. I could see it. “Y-yes, sister?”

At that, I let my hand drift up from the ground, but didn’t yet dare touch the parts she called her own. I settled for fiddling with my knee, pretending I was brushing the dust away. “Um. When we’re doing this, do you… er…”

She looked terrified. “Do I what?”

I took in a worthless breath, my eyes half-closed, and then pushed the question out like a popping blister: “Who are you thinking about?”

For a split-second, she looked gobsmacked; then, as the shock melted into embarrassment, her face bloomed with colour and she giggled, startled and soft and sweet. She first tried to hide it in her fist, but wasted little time in giving my shoulder a hearty punch once she’d recovered. “You jerk!” she squeaked out between peals of laughter. “How could you ask me something like that?!”

“Curiosity,” I said with an answering punch, but now I was smiling, too. I hadn’t expected her to react with anything but disgust. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“No one,” she mumbled, but now that we were eyeing each other, I could tell she was lying. “I try not to think about anything. This is just something we…”

“…Have to do,” I finished.

The flicker behind her small smile suggested that she was starting to mull it over. “Yes, exactly.”

“It shouldn’t have to be a chore,” I said gently. I wanted to take her hand in mine, but that would be too fast, too soon. I settled for reaching over her torso and lightly brushing her elbow. “If you _were_ to think about someone, who would it be? Hypothetically speaking.”

“Hypoth---!” Snickering, she whipped her head away, but I still caught the grin she was trying to suck back down as her hand drifted about, trying to find where to land. “Pfft. No. You’ll laugh at me.”

“No I won’t!”

Our eyes met again, and I almost choked when I saw a peeled vulnerability on her face. “You promise?” she murmured.

I put my hand between my breasts. “Promise.”

She jabbed her chin at me, and with a sigh, I started to do the motions I knew she expected: I first dipped my fingertip from shoulder to shoulder, then down to the tip of our gem, and then, finally, back up to my lips. Although the metre of the familiar rhyme sounded better in the common Gem tongue, I chose to switch to our secret patois. Translated, it would be---

“ _I promise: From left to right, and edge to cut, or else I’ll sew my damn mouth shut._ ”

This time the shiver wracked both our spines at once. Neither of us could explain how we’d somehow stumbled upon that most exclusive of languages, but we’d done it together. There was a giddy thrill that came along with knowing that, in the entire universe, no one else could speak it or understand it but my sweet sister and me.  
It was something precious.

“Good,” she said, and although her voice sounded wispy as she reverted to the colloquial, she still hadn’t moved her hand back down between our legs. “So, uh… I… I, um…”

I bobbed my head. “Yes?”

Then she slapped at my arm again. “I can’t say it when you’re looking right at me!”

Years and years of watching her face and reading every little tremor had made me almost fluent in what she’d ever have to say. _Almost._ With a small, growing smile, I hooked my arm around my ribs, just under my breasts, and began to speak to her with a voice as soft as a pulsar: “Remember the time we were first scoping out the dead Kindergarten? We were on a ledge…”

The sudden gleam in her eyes lit up her whole face. “Yes, yes!” she chirped. “And the rock started crumbling beneath us---”

“---And Rhodonite grabbed us,” I went on as I lifted my arm. “She yanked us backwards, and when we all fell back safely, we knew for the first time that we could trust her.” I toyed with one of her cowlicks, chuckling. “You remember that, don’t you, sister?”

She giggled and leaned into my palm. That shared memory had been one of the most defining moments of our early life, but we’d reacted to it much differently. Time to confess…

“You had a hard landing,” I told her as I trailed my hand on downward. “But mine was much more cushioned.”

Her gaze followed my meandering fingers. “W-what do you---”

Finally, I let my fingertip rest on her lips. “I fell face-first into her breasts,” I stated simply. “I’d never felt something so… so _soft_.” I bit my lip.

“Really?” How strange… I didn’t think her face could get any redder, and yet her skin flushed darker still. “You… touched… them? You actually got to touch her breasts?” she asked with twinkling eyes. Was she jealous? “What did they feel like?”

“Soft,” I repeated, “And warm and full and… oh, adjectives fail me.” She tilted her head forward, as did I, and we brushed foreheads. “ _So_ much different than my own. It felt like plunging into pure happiness. I was so flustered for ages afterwards!”

She was outright laughing now. “I _thought_ you were acting strangely!”

“I couldn’t get that feeling out of my mind! Is that what gems with lovers get to feel all the time?”

“No. They get to feel a great deal more.”

We stared at each other in silence. The smiles were gone.

We’d never talked about it, but I knew she felt the same---thousands of years without ever feeling an embrace really was a hollow sadness. We’d only been an hour old, hiding in a cave and crying, when I first realized we’d be eternal virgins. I still hadn’t come to terms with it.

“It made me think,” I went on with a tiny waver in my voice, “That… that maybe, er, just maybe, we could try…. Something new.”

“What d---”

I didn’t let her finish. I reached down, and touched at a part of her I’d never before felt---And, like a rag on a nail, her voice shredded.

“S-s-s-s-sssister-!” she cried out as she threw her head back.

I grinned as I twisted her nipple just a bit, which made her thigh tense and jiggle. “Hush! The others will hear you!” The little nub between my thumb and forefinger felt supple, and it just got tighter as I rolled it about. I watched, fascinated, as her full, dark areola contracted under my grip. The other one was still puffy, but it followed suit the more I touched her.

“ _More_ ,” she moaned. Her eyes were closed again, her eyelashes fluttering. Her torso was billowing up against my curious hand, trying to keep it against her chest.

I let her nipple loose and took her whole breast into my grasping palm. It was smaller and firmer than Rhodonite’s, but so much better; I wouldn’t have traded this sensation for the world. My mouth was watering, and she was drooling. Thousands of years, and she’d never had another hand on her quite like this. Not even mine.

“Ooh… that feels so good,” she wheezed.

I spent a blissful moment weighing her breast in my palm, then went back to massaging, my thumb on her nipple. Stars, touching my own chest was never like this! It felt like my hand was melting right into her skin. “I want you to feel good,” I said quietly.

“Puh… puh…” She was stumbling beyond words now, slapping her palm on the ground. “Please---Sister!!”

I had a rich kind of laugh deep in my throat as I pushed my face into the crook of her neck. This was new---this was wrong. _Scandalous._ But, at this point, why should I care? Some rules were made for breaking. I bit her skin; she knocked her knee on mine. I licked and kissed her exposed throat; she trembled against me.  
She tasted like the ground after a lightning strike.

“I’m thinking of Emerald,” I hissed through my teeth.

She was gasping, her hand back between our legs. “By the Diamonds, _why?_ ”

“She’s gorgeous,” I purred as her finger delved into our curls. “She’s got those _hips_ … AH!”

The side of her thumb accidentally grazed our clit, and we both jumped. Instead of diving right in, she let her fingers wander lower, toying first over the cleft between our cheeks, and then back up to give us both little sparkles of pleasure as she felt around our labia. They sucked at her, trying to pull her in.

“Of course you did…”

She ventured a tiny kiss on my shoulder, and I chortled with an embarrassing snort. “Of course I did what?”

She started to chuckle, her foot crawling over mine. “Of course you’d notice her hips, you pervert!”

“I couldn’t help it---those hips were right in front of me! She was magnified on a giant screen!” I lifted my head, aiming to kiss her cheek, but she turned at the last second and caught my lips with hers. I pulled back, laughing, and her warm, glowing face was all smiles.

“Emerald’s fine, I suppose, but what about Rhodonite? Why aren’t you thinking of her, hm?”

I wanted to cover my mouth, but I couldn’t take my hand off her soft skin. “Are _you_?”

It was then that her finger finally pressed down right on our clit, and my neck sagged with a shuddering gasp.

“Imagine,” she purred as she drew her finger in a tiny circle, hitting the side on the downstroke and rubbing upwards still, “Planting a little kiss on the inside of her thigh…”

I could imagine. Oh, _stars,_ could I imagine.

“Her belly heaving up under my mouth as I lick her Ruby,” she went on as she thumbed back our hood. “And you, my dear sister, nuzzling your face between her breasts, ready to kiss her Pearl…”

“And you call _me_ a pervert! She would absolutely kill you if she knew what you were saying!”

“What do you think she tastes like?” Catching a lip between her fingers, she gently tugged it til it uncurled. “Down here.”

It was a good question, but---“I don’t even know what _we_ taste like!”

She released the flesh and slipped back in, our lips pouting around her fingers. “I think she’d be spicy. Maybe tangy.” With an appreciative sigh, she added “Just something delicious you’d want to bury your face in. _Mmm._ ”

“Do you think her pubic hair has grey streaks, too?”

“I never thought of that!” Her fingertip was at the gates of our entrance, carefully fondling the muscles as they squeezed. “But I am now.”

Gingerly, I touched our glowing gem, running my finger from my side to hers. “Imagine looking down between our legs and seeing those pretty eyes gazing back up at us. Oh, wouldn’t that be something?”

“A tongue down there…” she sighed. “What would that feel like?”

My lips felt gummy as they parted with a noiseless gasp. I could swear I felt the branching part of our gem palpate under my touch as I tried to picture it---Rhodonite, her fluffy hair brushing at our thighs as she peeked over her nose at us---at _me_ \---her tender mouth moving against our sex in a wet, wordless song.

I rubbed our joining section. “You’ve thought about her before, sister.”

She smirked at me. “So what if I have?”

“What about Lars?” I teased her, and grinned when her eyes flew wide.

“Lars?! W-why would I think about Lars?” she stammered.

“Oh, come off it. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

She gave my cheek a sticky pinch. “Stop it! I do not!” But she was only pretending to be angry, I just knew it… because when her hand returned to our lap, the rubbing had a renewed vigour. “Besides, _how_ would I think about him? He’s a human! I don’t even know what parts humans have!”

“Maybe he’ll be kind enough to show you.”

She stuck her tongue out at me. “Stop it, you brat!”

“Maybe he’d do this…” I tickled my fingers down her throat. “…Or this…” I flicked her nipple. “…Or even _this_.”

My hand rested on hers.

She stopped.

We’d never joined hands over our vulva before; it had always felt clumsy and bumbling. But now, with a gentle squeeze, I began to guide her around, and it felt as natural as speaking to her in our secret language. To my surprise, I sensed a familiar tingle in my blank shoulder, just under the skin, and with an involuntary twitch, my phantom arm shot out.

Apparently hers had, too, because a ghostly hand suddenly clutched mine.

“Did you feel that?”

“Of course I did.”

Our invisible fingers entwined, and our visible ones dug deeper inside of us. Not quite far enough to tear our veil*---for some reason, we’d agreed to save that---but deeper than ever before, past the first knuckle in the moist heat. Our clit was jumping under her palm, our walls licking at our fingertips, and I could tell it wouldn’t be long now. As much as I was itching to tumble into a climax, I wanted this moment to last.

_“Ie t’ema, sorrir,”_ I whispered.

_“Et ie t’eme etium, _” she replied.__

__“Kiss me.”_ _

__Our mouths met, and I pushed a bit further, parting her lips with just the tip of my tongue. She gulped, but allowed me in, and I inhaled her breath, felt the twitch of  
her tongue, clacked my teeth against hers. I didn’t know nervousness and desperation had a taste, but I was a taste I wanted to savour._ _

__When she pulled away, there was a dreamy look in her eyes, and I seized her moment of distraction to clasp her hand and yank it up from our sex. It was _drenched_._ _

__“What are you doing?” she said as she looked at the bead of clear fluid dripping from her palm._ _

__The huskiness in my own voice surprised me. “Give me a taste.”_ _

__I’d only meant to dart my tongue out over her fingers, but the moment the taste hit me---she was right, spicy, tangy, _delicious_ \---I sucked her right in. And she screamed._ _

__There was a tiny part of my mind that said I should spit her finger out and scold her for the racket, but the thought was a only faint twinkle, a white dwarf in a supernova. Though our taste was overwhelming, I could still feel her nail against the roof of my mouth and her swirling fingerprint against my tongue. Still holding her wrist, I guided her fingers in and out of my puckered lips, wanting to etch every microscopic detail of this moment into my memory._ _

__Finger by finger, I released her arm and moved downwards, making sure to caress over her collarbone, her breasts, her belly before giving our curls a joking tweak. She sighed impatiently when I rubbed her thigh. “Stop teasing!”_ _

__I just looked at her innocently and grunted _“Mm-hmph?”_ around her finger._ _

__“I said, stop teasing me and just---“_ _

__The sound of my palm slapping against our vulva was damp and embarrassing, but it was hidden under her wail. She snatched her finger from my mouth and threw her arm around the back of my head, pulling my face against the crook of her neck._ _

__Her voice was soaring between screams and moans as I nibbled her skin, my tongue lapping her sweat and my fingers working frantic circles over our clit. Oh, stars, I was burning, tingling like the feel of a robonoid scanner running over my form, and I must admit, the rush of emotions inside me was almost as frightening. We squeezed and clenched at my stuttering fingers, and my sister began to sob. I was close, too---somehow I knew that this one would be our best yet. We’d done it, we’d broken that wall. This wasn’t masturbation anymore, it was making love._ _

__“Please,” she crooned as I sucked on the little lovebite I’d given her throat, “Please, don’t stop. I’m going to---”_ _

__“OH HOLY JESUS OF FUCKING NAZARETH!!”_ _

__And, just like that, the orgasm spluttered out. My eyes opened---and, Diamonds, no---they landed on none other but Captain Lars, who was clinging to the open doorway like he was hanging on for dear life._ _

__Time seemed to stretch out just like the stars did before hyperdrive. We couldn’t move. We just stared at his bugging eyes, dumbstruck, even though he was definitely not looking at our faces. Dimly, I wondered if my sister was as painfully aware as I was that with our legs as far apart as they were, he could… I gulped. He could probably see everything._ _

__His fingernails scraped at the metal, and his knees started to rattle together. “Uh. Guys. I---I heard---you were taking a long time---” he spluttered as his gaze darted up and down---though mostly down. “I… I heard some yelling and I thought---I mean---wow---”_ _

__Our bodies moved before our rational minds clicked back on---she threw her arm over my breasts, mine over hers, knees together, and we _shrieked_. _ _

__His hands flew up in front of him. “No, no, stop screaming!”_ _

__That was an order we obviously couldn’t follow._ _

__He was edging towards us. “No, Twins, it’s totally cool! Don’t be embarrassed!”_ _

__We were still screaming. My throat was starting to hurt, and my poor sister, too mortified to even face him anymore, buried her face in my shoulder._ _

__“Jeez, you told me you were ‘cleaning the hatch’!” Sweat was beading on his temple, but his slack-jawed expression was turning into a smile. “Is _that_ what you call it? Sounds a lot kinkier than ‘flick the bean’!”_ _

__That did it. Somewhere between humiliation and blind rage, I grabbed the first object my hand landed on and flung it right at his head with a roar._ _

__Unfortunately, it was a heavy wrench designed for huge Quartz hands; it spun through the air for a glinting second before conking him right between the eyes, and he went flying backwards. The back of his head smashed against the far wall, and, eyes rolling, he bonelessly slumped to the floor._ _

__My sister’s scream finally petered out, and changed to agitated crying. Meekly, she lifted her head and looked through tears at the Captain’s unconscious body. “Oh my stars, you killed him!”_ _

__“You told me the doors were locked,” I growled._ _

__She pointed a shaky finger at him. “He---he’s dead! Again! Can humans do that, die twice?!”_ _

__“Well he wouldn’t be if you’d locked the damn doors!” I put my gluey palm over my face and let out a deep sigh. It was hard to ignore the dull, angry twitching inside our unsatisfied sex, but I knew what had to be done. “Come on. Let’s go…”_ _

__I didn’t need to finish the sentence; she was already getting up. We were far too wobbly to stand, so instead, we crawled on hands and knees over to where he was lying in a crumpled heap. We leaned over him, and I carefully touched the split, bloodied lump that was beginning the swell on his forehead. Only the occasional twitch of his lips indicated that he was still alive._ _

__I looked at her, she at me. We said it at the same time:_ _

__“...What now?”_ _

__

__

___*"Tear the veil" = gem equivalent of "pop the cherry"_ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Dammit, Lars! You ruined it!  
> I almost never laugh out loud when I'm writing, but the way Lars swears is so close to how I swear XD Though I've never been lucky enough to walk in on something like this...
> 
> Oh, almost forgot: the title comes from [this wonderfully cheesy song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6Q3mHyzn78). The best part is [Weird Al did a parody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d-aWMQuoS4) that... seems to fit the story better, embarrassingly enough :P 
> 
> So, the Creepy Twin Language is actually a combination of French and Latin because I'm _just that pretentious_. Here's what the translations would be:  
>  “Ie t’ema, sorrir" = "I love you, sister"  
> “Et ie t’eme etium" = "And I love you too".
> 
> I wanted to try to keep it ambiguous which one of them was the narrator, but since this is a companion piece (kind of) to [Indivisible](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11419716), there's a bit of a hint.
> 
> Thank so much for reading my Smutile!


End file.
